It was 1980. I had been reading Oshos books since 2 years. They were actually available in the university library. Listening to his discourses on tape and meditating together with other friends in the city of Tübingen, an inner world of beauty and love opened up. Tübingen was basically a university town – and it had a very alive young student population and Sannyas scene. When I did Dynamic meditation for the first time, the effect of it was overwhelming: It felt as if suddenly a veil had been lifted from the world. Colours appeared, everything felt to be brighter and more alive. I was so impressed that I did the Dynamic a second time in the afternoon. This meditation was a miracle…
And then the music of Chaitanya Hari or Deuter – it had a pull, and it created a deep inner longing. It didnt take long for me to realize that I must go and see this man – could this be real? Could such a mystery really exist on planet earth? I had to be sure, so I decided to stop all use of drugs (which I was also experimenting with) and even alcohol: Nothing should distort my inner vision and connection to reality.
It took me a few months to prepare for the journey to India. I had to make money and arrange my studies of biochemistry in such a way that I would be able to leave for an indefinite period of time. My friends couldnt understand my inner pull, and I guess they looked upon me as being a bit crazy, but I knew I had no choice. If I didnt go to Poona, I would miss a chance that would maybe never come again. Speaking about awareness: this much awareness I had. Dont know from where, but I knew I should not miss this, whatever the cost. This journey might cost me my academic career, it didnt matter.
So in 1980 my second journey to India started. Syrian Arab airlines with stopover in Damascus, and then on to Bombay. And from there with taxi to Poona. I found a cheap place in Hotel Mobos – really just a bed with a wall around, shared toilets and showers, but all of that didnt matter to me. Walking the road to the ashram for the first time, I felt I had left the known world behind. Could there be ever any bridge to my old life?
Upon entering the ashram the first time, there was an energetic shock: the energy was so strong, it was overwhelming. I wasnt sure if I could take it. Too much impact. Even though this was the only reason I had come to India this time, I decided I needed time to think it over. So I took a bus to Goa and stayed there for 10 days in a little hut, trying to grasp what direction to move. And then from inside the answer came: I was to go back to Poona, inside the ashram, and whatever would happen I would not escape. This Yes proved to be a firm ground under my feet in all those years to come, and it allowed me to now enter fully into the ashram and Oshos presence. Soon I booked for various groups, participated in all the meditations and imbibed the magic that was all around.
And after 2 weeks, I just knew it was the right time to ask for Sannyas. It felt to be the most important step in my life that I had ever taken, but now there was no doubt any more. A week later I found myself sitting in front of Osho in Lao Tzu auditorium, waiting for my name to be called to receive a new name. All my senses were awake – this moment was to change my life forever. I could not miss a single second of it. And then I was sitting in front of Him, just looking into His eyes directly the whole time, receiving my new name. I heard Him say: This will be your new name: Swami Nagesh. And then he explained the meaning to me: Nagesh meaning wisdom of the snake, and like the snake can receive sounds without an eardrum, simply receiving the vibrations through its skin, this will be your way of living: To be totally in love, to be totally in dance, to be totally receptive.
Yes, Osho, your message has been received and it will stay vibrating inside me, not only in this life, but in whatever comes next too.