It was in the middle of June 2009 as I started to get my first experience of the akashic processes. I didnt really know much about them, and I had no clear idea what to expect, but I did know that this was what I wanted to do. How did I know that? The year before I had met Devageet in Greece and participated in a one week program. Around this man, I felt such an intensity and clarity, a devotion to OSHO and to meditation, such a high level of vibration and frequency that I was immediately drawn towards it. My whole being responded, showing me that I had stumbled upon something that I had given up hope of ever finding again. I just knew: Whatever this guy is doing, I needed to be a part of it.

So – here I was – in Oshofors in Sweden – in the middle of nowhere, together with 15 other participants, ready for a journey into unkown areas of myself. The place was chosen beautifully: In the midst of vast Swedish forests there was no possibility of distraction of any kind – the right surroundings for going deep into meditation and the layers of my own unconsciousness.

For the next 6 weeks the first akashic process would take me into mysterious and unknown realms of myself. Yes – I felt ready to face whatever might come up.

The setup of the process allowed for a very intense and intimate support. Every participant had his own facilitator. Each session would start with a deliberate trance, allowing to go deep into relaxation and connecting with our higher consciousness. Then the facilitator will draw certain diagrams on the body, followed by colourpuncture on specific points of these diagrams. As the body absorbs the colours, the facilitator will ask questions, allowing memories from very early times to come up, to be seen clearly. And as those memories are seen, the corresponding emotions are experienced again. In a nearly scientific way, this process allows to explore, how these emotions from a very early time in life are leading to specific beliefs and from there to specific behaviour. The whole structure of the akashic process is based on OSHO´s akashic transmission to Devageet. Daily meditations, including Dynamic every morning, are an essential part of it.

As the process begins, a total of 13 sessions are lying ahead of me. The first ones are leading me into memories of my childhood – some of them beautiful, some sad – and I recognize how much I have been influenced until today by these forgotten memories. The first sessions go easy: Nothing traumatic is coming up and my mind is wondering if I am open enough for this kind of work, or if maybe simply there is nothing traumatic to see.

Then – in session 6 – everything changes. The memory coming up seems innocent enough: I see myself, just 6 weeks old, in my baby carriage on the street, and I can feel strangers are looking at me. My mother is there, and she is showing me to those people. And at the same time, on the inside, I feel a strong emotion: I dont like anybody looking at me. It feels like nobody should see me, there is a total no to anybody looking at me. There is even fear. In the following dialogue the facilitator asks, if this feeling is coming from this life. The answer comes fast and clear: No.

In the following steps the facilitator guides me to explore, from where and when these feelings originate. It means going back – going back into a past life, a time from where these feelings are coming. The transition is immediate and painfully clear: My body starts trembling, fear arises, I feel I am being hunted down, there is panic. In the following dialogue a whole past life on the run is seen and experienced: I am in France, 14. century, and a member of the cathar religion. I have been initiated into it, but soon after that the catholic church is starting its persecution. Everybody I know is being murdered, but I manage to escape.

What follows then is 40 years on the run: Nobody should ever know who I am. Nobody should see me – I have to hide. If anybody finds out who I am, they will kill me. This is the deep inner belief shaping that whole past life until its very end. In the moment I see this, I become aware: this belief, “nobody should see me” travelled with me, from that past life until this life right now, until that moment in the baby carriage. It was hidden in the depths of my unconscious.
And here – in this life – it was with me all the time: a vague and diffuse fear, hidden in my belly, uncomprehensible for the mind but still powerful and influential.

Now that was quite a shocking realization: Recognizing that beliefs, imprints or patterns from past lifes dont end with death, but continue unchecked in the unconscious, influencing my present life. And even though I had been meditating for 30 year – up to this moment I had not been able to grasp this vague and diffuse feeling in my inside  and dissolve it. As I come out of that session, I feel that something important has happened that is going to change my life.

Later that day, there is a new and surprising sensation in my body: At exactly that place in my belly where I always had felt a kind of soft tension – now there is a golden light. And then this place gets filled up with joy, and this joy continues filling up my whole body. Simply joy, without any reason, without any cause. Joy happens, when fear is dissolved.

By consciously experiencing these hidden imprints in my unconscious I had dissolved a very old fear structure. The reaction in my body, the golden light and the joy are showing me: I am on my way to freedom: Freedom from the past, and freedom from my self. And awareness is the key.