The following 7th. session brings up another past life. I see myself as a young man, sitting at a beach in southern India, sometimes in the 18th. century: he is singing, chanting, basically living on the road. This man has no regular job – he is living from whatever people are giving to him. The songs – songs of love and gratitude, of happiness – are simply bubbling up in him, and he is sharing it with nature and whoever is around. In a way, this is the life of a Saddhu, but this man has no religious training, no formal initiation.
As this man is moving around India, he is living on the charity of other people. If something is given to him: good. If nothing is given, this is accepted as well. Sometimes, there are people around him who believe he can also share some wisdom with them, but on the inside he knows that he has not achieved any wisdom. As he is getting older, he is moving to the north of the country. He is looking for someone who can teach him, and he finds a community to live in. Here he learns about witnessing and meditation. The last years of his life he is living with these people who practice meditation, but he cannot find a master. So now he is getting older and closer to his death.
In the akashic processes, following OSHO´s guideline, we always look at the last moment of a life. The last thought before leaving the body, according to OSHO, is of great significance. The last moment in one life has a deep influence on the next life. OSHO insight is as follows: “Have you watched sometimes? In the night you go to sleep. Just watch. When you fall asleep, when you are falling asleep, just watch the last thought, the last desire, the last fragment in your mind. And then when in the morning you feel awake, don’t open the eyes; just again watch. The last fragment will be the first fragment again.The last thought in the night is the first thought in the morning. The last thought of this life will be the first thought of another life. The last thought when you are dying this time will become the first seed of your next life.”
As I am re-experiencing the last moments of life and then the death of this man, I can feel his sadness. There are tears in his eyes – he knows he has not arrived home, he has not achieved anything. He feels he has wasted his life. His last thoughts are: “I am leaving empty-handed. I have not arrived”.
Later on that day, there is a sharing and I recount the content of this session. Devageet has some comments on my experience. He looks at me and says: “This sadness is still inside of you”. And yes, – he is right. I can also feel it – it has been a constant companion in this life, but I had no idea what it was about. And then, Devageet asked a second question, which puzzled me completely: Why didnt you think of working, taking a job in that life? I am silent – there is no answer that I can give in that moment. Working? As a saddhu?
I take this question into my meditation, as a koan. Why didnt I choose a work in that life? And then – again – the answer bubbles up on the inside, quite unexpected. There was an inner belief in me: Whatever I need, it will be given to me. Existence will take care. This belief was at the core of that man in my past life – thats why he never thought about working. But: This same belief, coming from a past life, was here with me in this life too. Very powerful and convincing on the inside. And I realize: This inner conviction from the past has been influencing my whole present life too. Because of it, I was never interested much in making money, having a carreer or being successful. This belief, hidden deep in my unconscious, stopped me. Now I understand: An old, hidden but powerful belief, acting from the depth of my unconscious, was creating barriers in my present life.
And suddenly I realized: This is a karmic pattern – an unconscious behaviour pattern – repeated again and again in many lifes. And these patterns will be active until our awareness can bring light and understanding into those hidden layers of the uncionsciousness.
And in each new life, because we are forgetting whatever happened before, these patterns can repeat. Understanding this, I also understand the illusion of the so-called “free will”, which in many cases is nothing but accumulated unconscious patterns from the past. Seeing my beliefs and activities to be in reality old imprints from other lifes was shocking.
The akashic process brought me to a new and deep inner realization: my whole personality consists of a mosaic of countless individual experiences. They all get mixed together and then they pretend to be my “Self”. Each experience is leaving a specific imprint on the inside, leading then to a specific behaviour. And all these experiences are stored in the deep layers of the unconscious and collective unconscious.
Now I understand, what a gift OSHO´s akashic transmission is: Seeing and experiencing all those old, unconscious imprints is bringing a new freedom: Freedom from the Self, freedom from the mind and freedom from the past.
“With awareness, the true seeker can bring all the unconscious memories to consciousness. This will be a tremendous breakthrough in his meditation. This will enable people to go deep enough for the real transformation to happen” (OSHO).
OSHO´s promise has been fulfilled – the unconscious has opened its treasure box full of surprises. The result has been a healing: a new light, joy and playfulness has has come into the life as death has been experienced on different levels, in many lifes.
The journey into the unconscious suprisingly has turned out to be a journey into the light.